Thursday, May 17, 2007

Shaken But Not Stirred

Not long after I finished posting yesterday's entry, I received an e-mail at marked at 8.30 p.m. by my manager. He reprimanded me for having too much check-ins into the SVN repository. Yes, I did it as I thought it would one of the ways of solving the compiling problem that I am still facing right now. I was shown that I had checked in about close to 10 times. He feared that if I keep doing this - it might damage the repository, rendering it perhaps irrecoverable. For this, I felt that I was a little over-smart. I wanted to try to solve my problems on my own first before asking my other peers as I want to prove that I am not a parasite that clings onto things.

But in the e-mail that I've read, the last half of the mail was set in kind of a very threatening / intimidating tone (as like if I am going to be shot on the spot). That got me very upset throughout the whole night. I had a restless night - I simply could not sleep as I felt very upset over it. My confidence was shaken until the next morning.

I know that I cannot keep holding this in my heart for very long and I resolve to get out of the brief period of upset. First thing was I wrote a letter of apology - with a very clear admission / reason and dump the mail that I got away. I just don't want to go back and read it again. In the morning, I just simply said, "Just go and tell him straightaway when you go into the office. The earlier you say it, you may feel better." But it was not today - he was not in the office. Seems like that I'll have to say it straight as soon as possible tomorrow morning.

Man, I just want to get over it and keep my enthusiasm on finishing my current assignment high! The enthusiasm is there but the thing that distraught me is that there are things that I can't seem to understand how it went wrong. I was convinced that everything was right!

Oh, God...please I just need more strength to go on. I just feel that I don't have enough...:(

The plan of meeting my friend Edmund was postponed to either tomorrow night or Sunday afternoon. It was raining heavily downtown, but not at P.J office. A lucky thing though, today is Thursday, there's not going to be a lot of jam but wait till you see tomorrow. My brother is free of exams for now, so he is treating himself to playing WOW. I just went to get a 60-day card for him to get him enjoy his break. He only has one more week before the mid-year break.

On the other hand:

Govt. Can't Go After Bloggers Unless They Break The Law.

That puts the end of the speculation that of all those blogger mumbo-jumbo thing that Shaziman the junior minister puts up. I hope from here, it is no longer more of those blogging ruckus that politicians might be coming up. If it happens again that might affect all and even non-serious bloggers, I think I am going to puke. I'll need to have a serious word with them.


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