Observing a Day of Silence

Some of you may know that today is the 2nd year of my grandfather's passing.

He's the last of my grandparents to go off.

Being one of his grandchildren and the closest to him, it's can be quite painful to miss him at times but I am getting older and older each day, and life will to have to move forward.

In light of commemorating this day, I will be observing a day of silence, which means I will not put up any posting nor tweet anything on that day until night.

Thank you.

In Memoriam: One Year Later

Today marks the 1st year of my grandfather's passing. In the days towards the end he was in a pretty sad shape and in great pain, having suffering complications from pneumonia and all we could do is to let him go off rather than putting more pain for him.

A few days ago, during a courtesy visit, one of my uncles told me that he saw grandpa in dreams, in heaven, with his favorite sarong. I lent him a box of old photos that my late grandmother kept. When he went through the photos, he took one of the black and white ones and told me of the image he saw in visions. At least I was grateful to hear that my sweet grandpa is well taken care by God up there.

Sadly he didn't get to see new additions to the family, as those happened six months after his passing. But we, the family really missed him so much.

Anyhow, my aunt actually adapted a poem from James Kisner called "In My Eyes" (original text here) but changed to reflect his. Quite interesting to read really. At least now I remembered what was his favorite song :)

He's rough and lacks in etiquette
Society would say
He has no classy attributes... See More
To help him on his way

He's not a fancy dresser
And he's just trimmed and neat
With simple clothes and simple shoes
He wears upon his feet.

He doesnt belong to a club
Or drive a shiny car
And when he takes vacations
He does not go very far.

He doesnt dine on fine cuisine
To him eating something western is a treat
And he may use a plastic fork
When it is time to eat.

He has a modest little house
But has all that he needs
He keeps his house spick and span
He even mops the floor till it sparkles!

He works long hours at his job
To make an average pay
And even if he's sick or tired
He goes to work each day
Thinking of the 6 mouths he has to feed
(incl.mom)

His job is just a government jobj
His pay just makes ends meet
But a few good friends and family
Makes his life complete.

He's not well versed in poetry
Theater or the arts
But Acker Bilk is his favourite
"Strangers on the shore" was the song

He loves the simple things in life
For riches doesnt thirst
He knows what is important
And his family is put first

The wealth that God has given him
To treasure in his life
Loving sons and daughters,
Grandchildren and great grandsons
And a very special wife.

He never has much money
And his life is not a show
But he is still the RICHEST MAN
That I will ever know.

Hello and Happy New Year 2010!

First, it's happy new year 2010!

I realized that I didn't write as much as the first two years. Partly because of too much work, exhaustion, timings and maybe I didn't have time to write as what it used to be.

I've done the first thing I want to do - weeping for mistakes of 2009 for 10 minutes in the morn. And let's wipe the slate clean.

As the word says 'to make up' for the miss and mistakes - I'm trying to recapture what was missing - hardwork (my manager told me that was missing in the last 2 months), saving my job, enjoying writing this by going back to my 'one post per day' mantra.

Ah the mantra...I noticed that I fell short of 80 plus postings for 2009, that's about 11.5 weeks of posting there. In fact I've already had 2 or 3 more things in mind...but well, never mind.

In Memoriam

Today I will not talk about my usual stuff. It's something personal.

Today is exactly three years since my gran's passing. The date still etches in my memory and the night she died I was not there because of work commitments. She was at sure of what she wanted before she went off.

We gave her the tools to cure but she refused, intending to go and end the suffering.

You can say R.I.P or whatever you want, but I just want to mark today as respect in passing.

That means no more home cooked food already in the last three years and counting.

There are things I still remember about and the picture box that she has that I kept as a memento.

Of course there's something I intend to write today about Gurujib, but that thing, if you are smart and insightful, you'd figure out. No, I put this for today.

Stories From Back Home

School Days How It Feels 15 Years Ago

It is one more week away from the year end school holidays and it remembered the time that when we were in either standard 5 or standard 6 that we literally had nothing to do when it's three weeks away from holidays.

Apart from exam results and positions prior to prize giving ceremony, we just had nothing left apart from playing board games, playing rock paper scissors. Maybe once a while the maths teacher or some other teachers just gave us a sneak peek of what's life to be in Form 1. But most of the time, it's playing games until the point that everyone takes part in it. Even prefects, monitors. The teachers didn't really care much of it. If there's physical education, they would take us out to the field to play football or something like that.

I would sometimes think back those years there. How we guys would play have fun and everything throughout six hours of school before the school bell rings. Sadly after we left primary school for more than 10 years, things no longer look like what it was before but physically improved a lot. The school is already 45 years old.

School ain't really fun that before. All time study and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Brother Lawrence Spitzig (1918-2009)

I only saw him twice. The first time was when he was visiting Ipoh and I was only 15 at that time. He held a talk about careers in a neighboring school in town.

The second time was somewhere in late 2007 where I managed to spend one Saturday afternoon at St. John's to talk to him. I introduced myself and reminded him of being in Ipoh 10 years ago and we started to talk. At that time of talking, he had a bad fall from the staircase, which was the prelude to the next few months of being bound to the wheelchair as he's weak to walk.

Being 91 is pretty good, considering that he outlived Brother Ultan Paul, whom I used to see when I was a boy. If there is a wake for all students to come and see, it's today and for myself, I've been through three or four wakes, mostly being my grandparents and the first one was on Brother Paul's wake back in mid-April 2000.

Condolences...

From The Malay Mail:

LA SALLIAN Brother Datuk Lawrence Spitzig, the former director of St John's Institution Kuala Lumpur (SJI), who dedicated his entire life to education and youth died yesterday at the Assunta Hospital, Petaling Jaya.

He was 91.

Brother Lawrence who was in a coma for the last five days lost his long battle with prostate and lung cancer.

His contributions to education have been immense. Among his most notable contributions to SJI was the fact that he wrote the lyrics for the SJI school song Cheer cheer & courage display, which till today is sung by its students.

Born in Feb 4, 1918, the Canadian served two terms as the school director (a role equivalent to school principal). The first was from 1955 till 1961 and the second was from 1979 till 1983.

After his retirement, Spitzig visited East Malaysia to help the poor who hailed from Sabah and Sarawak's indigenous tribes.

His six decades of dedication as a school administrator won him many titles and honours. He was awarded a Datukship by the King in conjunction with the Federal Territories Day this year.

He was also granted the "Jasamu Dikenang" award during this year's Teacher's Day celebrations. The La Sallian Brother was also honoured with The Order of Canada in 2004, which is Canada's highest civilian honour and awarded to outstanding Canadians.

Brother Lawrence's body will be brought to the St John's chapel in SJI today at 9.30am and his funeral service will be held at St John's Cathedral, Kuala Lumpur at 10am tomorrow.

Benjamin Lim

There's my new-born nephew Benjamin, in which we celebrated his full moon yesterday night. Apart from that, my family relatives also revisited memory lane with photos that I took from my grandparents house. We had a good laugh on that one. Seeing the faces of my relatives at their yeteryears - that was around the period of 1975 to 1985.

More Antiques, Moving Stuff

After a meeting with a bunch of friends in Devi's corner, I took an early off to go back to Ipoh to help do more of moving the stuff out of the house before we handed it over to the new owner. I only got back there 5 a.m in the morning, something which my mother told me to sleep early last night. This round, there's still plenty of stuff to move in and out, notably some items from my room, my own stack of clothes, and a few other things as well as throwing the thrash - many bags to a dump in Canning.

But the most interesting part is of course of while digging around the stuff, I noticed some interesting classical items, items that are over 30 years and above. For instance, there is a sewing machine in the middle room which is about 42 years old. None of my relatives are interested so I decided to keep it away rather than throwing it off due to its sentimental value.

There are tons of photos which my grandparents kept in which I saved it to be either given back to relatives or converting one corner of the new house as a photo gallery.


The best part is - this set of tools - used to make Kueh Kapit. I remembered granny did it once when I was little boy. But the last thing she made six months before she died was the chang - dumplings - done because my brother wanted to eat.

The date of moving in was tentative (10th) subject to various circumstances like ownership payment dues, so we could have extra time to make sure things are cleared off.



Sigh..there's the last time of sleeping there.

Madonna - This Used To Be My Playground

As the title simply suggests, this is fitting the theme everyone in the family saying goodbye to the place called home. We can hold this place in our memory and be proud of it. We all enjoyed our time in this house, some for maybe a few years, some for more than 30 years, and all comes to and end on June 10.

It used to be our playground really.

Bye Bye...Home

Bye Bye...Home

Kevin drew that pic above and below it says:

Thanks for the 18 years of shelter,
You're always special to me.

Gone back to Ipoh over the weekend to help pack up a lot of things. We had to move out of the house latest by 10th of the month as it has been sold. Our family has been staying there for almost 36 years since the house was first built up by IGB - or Ipoh Garden Berhad it used to call though. Some family members came and go mainly because of having setting up their own family lives. And for 25 years, I've grew up there. So by the evening of today, most of the electrical equipment and light furniture were moved out except for the fridge.

Of course, as dad said, it's a chapter of a book that has to be closed. Since Kevin started studying after secondary school, there's no one to look after the house as my late grandfather was too weak to move around. Since then, upkeep is pretty troublesome and there's no one is in the house except that mom, who sometimes drop by every nightfall.

A will left by grandfather stipulates of the house to be sold after his death, well it had to be and some of us wish to retain the house but you can't break the rules really...heh.

The one thing I loved about the house is due to the geographical factor. You can easily go in and out of the town, for example you can go to the stadium in less than 5 minutes, go to Kampung Simee in about 5 minutes, reach Ipoh town in about 15 minutes and etc..and best you can walk with ease to Kinta City Shopping mall which is opposite the main road.

Well, after that, I could be moving to either another town called Bercham or in Gunung Rapat, depending on the what happens in the entire month or so.


There's too much memory to carry about in this house, so I took some pictures at least as mementos. I am sure that when the next owner comes to take over, the house would be completely renovated, but we won't be seeing it there. I don't know whether if some of my relatives want to remember what's the house look like, but there's some pics which I left at Facebook. Sorry folks, though as of now the pics access is purely for family and relatives lol. But I can share one or two pics over this page.

Boy I will miss the house badly. I think there are about at least three moments of life I could remember about that place, mainly the one fine afternoon 15 years ago, slipped in the dining room as a kid and of course hearing the sounds of mobile hawkers / salesman at the backlane when in the toilet....:)

May Days

There was one time during dinner with all relatives we said that the month of May is a month of many things happened in the family. Yes, we all agreed anyhow. Generally the riots happened on May 13.

Strangely though, my late grandparents were born in the month of May (by Gregorian calender). After my dear grandfather passed on, I managed to see a past record that he left behind and another moment I found was that they were married on May 18 1954. If that is not enough, my two older aunts were born in this month as well, the second one last Saturday and my oldest aunt is 58 today.

Incidentally, my newborn nephew Benjamin was born on Thursday, which means in total there are at least 6 May days for the family. Well, at meals, if we meet up might be asking or chit chat about this.

"I Promise To Be A Good Kid."

"The best part of life is always the beginning. The worst part is always the end." - Mark Twain

Grandpa passed away on Tuesday morning at 2.00 a.m.

On that weekend I came there, he was in ICU. His condition deteriorated to semi-conscious state. He couldn't talk since there are breathing tubes attached into his mouth. No chance of recovery given of his old age and the knowledge that he could go off anytime. When the doctors took off the breathing machine and moved him back to normal ward, we thought he could last for another 24 hours. We are surprised that he held on for more than 72 hours before he went off peacefully.

It started with pneumonia then after I left, it went bad and the sample taken revealed that there was an E-coli virus strain. The complication is the HUS syndrome which spread to the digestive system to his leg (his right leg was blackened due to gangrene and blood clot). Heart was enlarged due to breathing difficulties. In the last few days, heart beat was like as if he's on a marathon.

The last two days, it was raining heavily. In the morning hours after his passing, it was raining heavily. And yesterday evening, when I went for the wake, it was raining heavily while driving on the highway to Penang (held there for convenience since he's hospitalized at a specialist hospital there.) I see that as a metaphor that even Heaven weeps for him.

I was surprised to see an obituary page of him in the Star yesterday. But I understood that the idea to reach to his friends that has lost contact with him since his retirement 30 years ago. So Tuesday and Wednesday was the wake and just now was the funeral, finished 3 hours ago.

Of the eight grandchildren he had, the one where he has the most affection was me, being the fifth. When I learned that his time could go up instead of three more years as I see it, as well as his condition getting weaker, I wept because I felt sorry for him and his given state.

In the space of four years, I lost all my grandparents.

And when I met him, he could see me in the eyes but could not talk.

I told him that whatever I wanted to say even asking him how would I want to talk to him when he is gone. I would want to hear his answer. There were two main things I told him.

1. I asked for his forgiveness for whatever misdeeds I did to him. He shook his head and he meant that "it doesn't matter".

The weekend while he was awake, he told me that it's up to fate to decide. Maybe he knew it coming, but he was worried that there are many things unfinished that he wishes to clear up before he became unable to talk.

I told him not to worry, go in peace, see the light and meet grandma at heaven. Before he went to ICU, he asked my father and aunts about me and Kevin. He made (his two daughters) my aunts promised him to help both of us out given we're far off from our parents.

2. The second thing I said was a promise to make him less worried.

"I promise to be a good kid."

I remembered of listening to one song by Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald which fits of how grandpa is now finally together with grandma.

Heaven, I'm in heaven
and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak
And I seem to find the happiness I seek
When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek

Oh, heaven, I'm in heaven
and the cares that hung around me through the week
Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak
When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek

Oh, I love to go out fishing
in an ocean or a creek
But it wouldn't thrill me half as much as
dancing cheek to cheek

Oh, I love to climb a mountain
and reach the highest peak
But it wouldn't thrill me half as much as
dancing cheek to cheek

Won't you come and dance with me
I want my arms about you
The charms about you
will carry me through
To heaven, I'm in heaven
The cares that hung around me through the week
Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak
When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek
Oh, won't you come and dance with me
I want my arms about you
The charms about you
will carry me through
To heaven, I'm in heaven
The cares that hung around me through the week
seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak
Oh, when we're out together
out together
When we're out together
dancing cheek to cheek

Stories From Back Home

My dear old grandfather was hospitalized again on Friday as he had some difficult breathing problems - diagnosed as pneumonia. Today, it seems that he is breathing quite hard he coughs (no yellowish phlegm) but I suspect it's sinus. I felt sorry and occasionally wept for him, being in this weak state, and I wish that he can enjoy at least another 3 more years, then I'd be happy. I thought we would be celebrating his "chinese date" birthday in KL, but because of this circumstance, the event didn't happen and I came back to pay him a visit. Before I leaving after the visit, Dad told me not to worry, he'd try the best he can to take good care of him.

The Pusrawi Man was There

On Saturday, I visited back home and went to do the quarterly car service. The workshop manager, at first asking me questions on the political scenario back in KL. Then interestingly, he told me that he met that Dr. Osman Hamid who came over to do his car service. Interestingly, the car has a PKR sticker on top and I was told that he moved back here, admittingly, having enough of the thing in KL, especially the Saiful episode.

People Still Hate Hee

People in Jelapang are still hating the assemblywoman Hee Yit Foong. Her husband operates a chicken rice store in Jalan Yang Kalsom (opposite AmBank) and days after the incident last month, some people sprayed red paint at the shop. True, Hee's husband has owed a lot of money in gambling depts. 60% of the $25 million paid to Hee was paid by interestingly by Berjaya's Vincent Tan! I couldn't find that shop yesterday, and I you guys happened to find out the name of the shop, that would be a big plus.

Ah, The Tree!

There's the famous tree of democracy - the very spot in which Sivakumar the Speaker convened the Tuesday assembly outside the Hall, since it was barred by the police and the State Secretary.
I've been checking testing another photo just to help reference the spot where it was held. If you come in, on your left, it's the Malay food stall by the name of "Selera Idwa"

Farewell Markus!

I was alerted to a post by delCapo saying that Markus Ng, a vigil attendee that was seen in Sunday vigils was found dead all of the sudden.

When I saw the picture of Markus then I realized who he was exactly.

Back somewhere in November or December, a young man, perhaps younger than myself went to me and introduced himself as Markus. I shook his hand in reply and introduced myself. I remembered of both of us joining the usual gang in having our weekly drinks at Fisherman's Wharf.

Sadly we didn't get to know each other well as what Duke said the other day.

It was a shock though. And when I read an interesting post on the memorial page I came to realize how close was I to facing that similar situation.

Markus started working with UNICEF in November 2008. He had been working almost non-stop in the past week, sleeping only 3-4 hours a day. He came back from the office at 3am the night before his death and was found dead on his bed the next morning. His computer was still switched on. Obviously he had continued working even after coming home.

After much discussion with doctors, our theory is that his acute stress could have caused some biochemical (electrolyte) imbalance which triggered a cardiac arrythmia (sudden disarray of heart rhythm) and cardiac arrest. The whole thing is at the biochemical level and therefore, there are no organ changes to be detected at post-mortem.

I realized that there has been a lack of control over employee welfare by employers and Human Resources Ministry and I felt that this was the toll of working too hard. I will blog on this matter some other time.

Unfortunately, due to unusual circumstances, I am unable to go to the wake but instead I will say a little prayer to this young man who deserves to live longer but his life being robbed short. I remembered a saying that a slave is truly free when he dies as he feels the pains and slavery.

Farewell, and rest in peace pal!

Reprieve.

What I got on New Year's Eve was a reprieve.

I learnt that the entire system is 50% confirmed with tweaks in one module and the module that I was involved still has stability problems. They spotted one problem where searching for Customer was not running and I admit that I made a misjudgment that day.

So that problem was ironed out and there's still more things to do. For today, the C and R team are off day as they are fully assured of stability by the QA department. But not for me as there's still things to sort out.

So I consider that as a reprieve and I heard that we have until Monday for another demo.

I never wanted anything for New Year, just a reprieve. 2009 is considered a tough period for all of us. I never get to enjoy things as other people do for the last two months. Some friends were asking me, why in a dull mood, I only told them, it's the deadline. Or a better answer would be to write to my boss in Singapore to find out!

Kevin's Birthday

Yesterday is officially Kevin's birthday but since Monday was a public holiday, I called him out for some lunch at KLCC.

Well, he just turned 18 and told me that he reached Level 80 in playing WOW. I was shell-shocked when he said that he took one day to reached the level whereas when we had a holiday one week ago, he was at level 78.

He was in town on Saturday but did not call me because he thought I was too busy. Well I was indeed too busy in office, spending Saturday from 11.30 to 8.30 there to finish something important.

I took one photo but in black and white because dad thinks there's some IT in shooting B&W.

Must have been from watching Schindler's List black and white footage.

A Payout Cheque By Nuffnang

For those of you who have signed up for Nuffnang but yet to get a paycheck at all, this is what you get.

For my case, it took me a little more than a month to receive the cheque. I requested for a cash out on 27 October. It took more than month to process, and finally the cheque was sent from Penang on the 2nd. It took three days to reach other states (according to postal rules) before it came here today. If the destination is within a state, it can reach in one day.

Behind the cheque, you can see a watermark to show that it is a real one, not a forgery.

This pay is the result of advertising for exactly one year. I've started the Nuffnang advertising in October 2007. The thing is that if you have more people visiting your blogs, chances are your pay would be higher.

Commencement of Ipoh-KL Shuttle Services

From tomorrow onwards, the KL-Ipoh KTM commuter service will start. The service will run on weekdays basis, with five trips per direction daily. The estimated time of travel between this two towns would be at approximately three hours.

The newly refurbished Ipoh railway station has changed a lot and if I remembered properly, the underground passage that links Platform 1 to Platform 2 has been sealed off and replaced with an overhead passageway.

Here are some pics to show the refurbished state of the station.




This used to be the old entrance towards there. For better clarity, you might want to read Lat's Town Boy graphic novel.

A Letter For Grandma

Dear Grandma,

It's already been two years.

I remembered last week when I was invited for dinner at the Wharf with some colorful guests. It was fish affair - steam fish, roast lamb, vegetables, curry fish and etc.. I thought for one moment I was at home, but the reality is that you were out there to remind me of the home cook food that I have not eaten for two years already.

I remembered the steam fish -it was like back home, where there's steam fish for dinner. I yearned to go back home for more than three weeks but the burden of work on the entire department forced me to postpone the trip to home three times.

Atmosphere in the department and office is pretty grim and sombre in the last few days. I was in a real nervous mood. The department had to work past normal hours, that's fine, but the grim warning is circling around: we had three policy components to deliver in good condition by end of grace period or the whole department gets fired. That even means me, my buddies and even my manager Vasem. I came back from toilet when he scolded my senior. I was freaked out. I had some chest pains probably because of overexerting myself. I was kicking myself hard, frantically trying to finish everything in time, but I look at it is unfair for everyone.

For a few times today I beg to either God or find a guy after work hours to help me through. But I wasn't happy or satisfied really. I don't what will happen in the next week or month or so. Losing a job at this point of time isn't right for all of us. We all felt the heat. I wasted a few hours over one problem whereas I wanted to use it to do something else that I am comfortable to handle with.

I could only turn to Ma for words in the last two days. I wanted to talk to someone close to me physically, not by phone, not by mail. And there was some feeling of anguish inside me for sometime. Apart from cousins or colleagues or friends, there's no one to turn to physically.

In one movie I watched, the protagonist said, "God does not speak to me, even on top where Christ was crucified." I was unsure whether I was put to this mess for my mistakes or there are things I do not want by was forced to do so. Look, I don't want to end as a recession casualty..the company has to reduce headcount because of the recession thing. On second thought I thought the Big Man was trying to tell me keep stocking my money. Forget about buying a desktop computer that I've waited for so long.

How I wish if God or you could speak to me and help me out. And yes, I am not speaking to you physically but instead I am speaking to a headstone in a temple where you are r.i.p. You were gone for two years already - things could be different if that is not the case.

It's pretty restless now. I only wish that tomorrow would be really better than today.

Booze and Party Week

It was a week of booze and party for Friday and Saturday as well as eve of Deepavali.

Simon and Edmund came down as I could not meet them a day earlier. I really wanted to have a good time at Finnigans, talking anything that is Irish, from James Joyce to Kitchen Irish or whatsover so we seized the chance and had a round of cocktails and beer to go along with some food. And of course some interesting discussion of the local and foreign scene!

Edmund had remarked on me being short of money. True, I only got my pay on the 1st. It's not like in the previous company where I get paid on the 26th like most local companies do.


Friday was Balkrishna's final day of work before he returned to India on Saturday. He had been working here for 10 months and we had a party of thanksgiving. Another colleague, Murali is returning to Hydrabad this weekend as well.

Usually, party for these Indian colleagues usually start late at 9 and ends at around 1 in the morning. That's because most of us don't leave at 6 p.m sharp but instead, we would leave as early as 7 p.m at latest at around 9.30 or so.

Along with briyani rice, chicken masala, tidbits and some pickles, we all had a rounds of hard drinks, featuring a bottle of whiskey courtesy of B.K. There's some cheers all around that night in Bistari until 1 in the morning.

I couldn't go more than three as I had to send Alfred and Ponvel back to Pantai Dalam. But's one decent party to say adieu to B.K and Murali. I took a nap in a room just to make sure I have enough energy to drive on the road to send Alfred and Ponvel back.


The next day, Adrian came down with Dad to visit me. I bet he wanted to come and celebrate happy birthday with me. Well, I went to his place in September, he had reached adulthood officially and gave him a present. In turn, he bought two books, one narrative and another one, a anthology called March 8: The Day Malaysia Woke Up.

I thought of taking him to some nice place he never had food so anyhow we went to one restaurant they celebrated my birthday in advance with some brownies.

I owed my colleagues a self-sponsored meal today, but would make it up tomorrow. When I came to office today, everyone, starting with Subbu came over and greeted me birthday wishes, with some SMSes by Dad and Ilona. I felt downbeat today, Alfred was pretty concerned, but I was unhappy over a decision by Vasem, a bit worried of how my things are going..not good. To cap off the weekend, I just had another booze with honey chicken at chillies. At least it is to celebrate my ownself....!