Thursday, March 27, 2008

Gorillas In The Mist

When I was a kid, one of the books that I read was David Taylor's Amazing World of Animals. The book is a compilation of several sub-books into one. The first part of the book is the best one that I've read, which is entitled Animal Olympics. One of the sports mentioned in the games is of course the weightlifting category. Many animals were in participation and there were two winners at the end.

The ant beats the elephant in the weightlifting category because it impressed the judges of its ability to carry a dead big beetle on its own despite its small size. This was the reason. The elephant, of course with its large nose trunk was able to lift a log of wood with ease. But the question that many people asked was why there wasn't a bronze medal offered in that competition.

The reasoning is, actually there was a place for a second runner up, which was won by the gorilla. However, it was disqualified for unsportsmanlike behavior by punching the referee when it was decided that the ant won the weightlifting competition. Because of that, it was decided not to reward the bronze medal to any other creature and only leave two winners for that game.


If you remember, Khairy Jamaluddin previously called bloggers as monkeys and since there are no rules in cyberworld, there is the need to use the law of the jungle to and we need to take action against the monkeys which is us of course.

But then, flash forward to post March 8 elections,we are seeing things the other way round. And when that happened, people at the Barisan Nasional camp are behaving like gorillas sulking over their defeats and behaved in an unsportsmanlike manner right now. They thought that they can continue to do their things whatever they wish, assuming that they retain their state or parliamentary seats, but this time, it wasn't.

Here are a few things cases that illustrate the gorillas in the mist of Malaysia, in this case, BN:

1. MB Issue in Terengganu - When it was decided by the palace that Ahmad Said, who had a good administering record at the expense of Idris Jusoh was selected to become the next Menteri Besar, 22 BN assemblymen from the Idris Cell led by the gorilla Rosol Wahid launched a boycott and threat of resignation if Idris is not re-elected. The Sultan, also the Agong who has the prerogative in deciding the MB was angered by Idris antics during his term and felt that he should not continue. While Ahmad Said was willing to perform the duties entrusted, he was stripped of his UMNO membership by gorillas but somehow performed as usual. Still, the gorillas are still aping over the issue and finally, at today's UMNO Supreme Council meeting, they decided to accept Ahmad Said's appointment. But it came at a terrible cost as Idris, Rosol and another man were stripped of the Datuk titles because of the insulting to the king. Another defeat conceded by Dollah Badawi.

2. NEP issue in Penang - On March 14, UMNO Penang, following their massive loss of Penang, being one of the states captured by the opposition had launched a rally at Komtar to protest at the opposition following CM Lim Guan Eng's decision to abolish the NEP (New Economic Policy) in favor of Anwar Ibrahim's New Economic Agenda. The main gorilla behind the thing was Penang UMNO secretary Azhar Ibrahim who famously said "IF BN is kicked out of government, THEN it means people of Penang don't want megaprojects" - meaning calling for the federal government to stop funding money for development in Penang. Of course, gorillas don't have brains to think like a human, so this was the presumption and from what he said seems that he was sulking heavily in defeat.

3. DBKL Double Standards - Not associated to Datuk Badawi Kahwin Lagi! No no no.... Yesterday the 10 Opposition MPs gathered at the Federal Hotel last night to make a joint report about DBKL playing double standards. The allegation is that in two months before elections, the city council has been very relaxed in taking enforcement against petty traders, tenants and hawkers. But following BN's loss in KL, with 10 Opposition MPs against 1 BN MP, the city council swung into action and punishing people in sections belonging to Opposition MPs except for Setiawangsa.

The resolutions detailed here are:

We, the 10 opposition Members of Parliament in Kuala Lumpur, note that two months prior to the 12th General Elections (GE) DBKL was very relax in taking actions against the hawkers, petty traders, DBKL tenants and others.

We also note that immediately after the completion of the 12th GE, resulting in the clear rejection of BN by the KL residents, DBKL swung into actions to victimize and/or punish the hawkers, petty traders and threaten to victimize and/or punish the DBKL tenants in the opposition held constituencies, for the miserable performance of BN in the GE.

We strongly condemn DBKL for involving itself in politics and taking such concerted actions to victimize and/or punish the hawkers, petty traders and DBKL tenants for exercising their democratic rights in the 12th GE to elect the 10 opposition MPs from PKR, DAP and PAS in Kuala Lumpur.

We call upon the Datuk Bandar Kuala Lumpur to immediately stop the political actions in victimizing and/or punishing the hawkers, petty traders and DBKL tenants for exercising their democratic to elect the MPs of their choice.

Hoi...Datuk Hakim (Borhan)! Awak yes man untuk Barisan Nasional, kah or you ikut Mr. $700 million man? Kalau bukan, please fix the mess, if not, you could be sacked, boss. And who knows, YB Wee can take over your place lol! And then 'Throw Chair' Yew can become drainage inspector...!

4. Circular Salah But Halal ? -Our 'Mr. Keris' Hishamuddin, another gorilla, has issued another circular that schools under the opposition states are not to be inviting speakers from opposition states. It simply implies that if you want to invite speakers, you must invite people in pro-BN states including Johor...! To back up the circular, the gorilla said that failure to do so would result in potential dismissal from posts for headmasters and principals. BEGITULAH TERDESAKNYA PEMIMPIN2 DARI PARTI UMNO/BN INI MENGUNAKAN KUASA HARAMNYA SETELAH LEBIH 50 TAHUN MEMPENGARUHI BADAN2 KERAJAAN DAN MINDA RAKYAT YG RAKYATNYA RELA MENJADI ROBOT SEBAGAI ALAT KAWALAN OLEH PEMIMPIN2 UMNO/BN ITU SENDIRI.

Illegal circular that is passed as halal in 5 states?

5. Paper Shredding - In the days after the election, staff from the Selangor and Kedah state governments are found to be shredding paper, some believed to be documents of trade. This was highlighted and found prominently in alternative media. So, are they trying to hide their dirty secrets? People know that Khir Toyo is wanted for 20 counts of corruption or so. And in Kedah, what is there to hide if you have nothing done wrong? Gorillas in Kedah are found to make noise to mislead people saying that PAS to implement hudud laws. Bohong! Selangor gorillas also make noise but people are not buying into their bullshit.

And a few more you can add including UMNO pushing for village heads in Perak to quit, council members of municipal councils to quit when Opposition took over Selangor, Tajol Rosli crying and BN making noises in Perak, TV3 and Utusan making noises and laments against the opposition bashing and a variety of things.

Whatever the case is, those gorillas are emerging from the mists and if Khairy's theory is true, as the animal keeper, we may have to do things the hard way to push them back. Imagine if you're a zoologist, an option of course is to use tranquilizer darts or whatever to hold the line.

Yes, there was a possibility and a theory that you can try to teach a gorilla to behave as your own son or daughter, but then old habits die hard and gorillas don't think like humans. It can last no more than a man will to behave like its usual self. There was attempt but no avail. I'm not quite sure whether in Malaysia it is safe to take a gorilla into your wing and then get the creature to be your best companion for the rest of your life.

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